I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
