Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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