I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
