Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I had to cum in my sink.
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