After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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