How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think my moral compass just broke
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize