I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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