I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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