he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
no, he came in my armpit
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
