I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize