i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
