just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
