I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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