Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
