Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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