their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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