I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Drunk is not a location!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
