Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I am one with the molecules
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
