plz talk dirty to me
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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