Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
