We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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