I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my sisters under your porch take her home
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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