i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize