Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
