I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
