I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
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I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
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The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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