Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
