don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
