I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
