Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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