shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Randomize
