i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
