Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
