Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
