Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
