just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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