Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
