be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
