So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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