we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
