question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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