I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
