some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
