and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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