i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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