Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Randomize
