Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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