Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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