She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
