Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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