He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
