We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
