I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
