i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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