found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
