Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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