I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm having to shit out rocks
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