She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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