I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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