no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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