I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
