My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
