what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
